The journey that I will never forget is last summer vacation. My sister and I went to France to visit my aunt. I planned the schedule where we wanted to visit in there in advance.
I was excited when I arrived in France. At first, seeing that I couldn’t understand French, I had no way to communicate with people. Then my aunt taught me some basic French and easy conversations. I think French is more complex than English. Sometimes I pronounced them incorrectly, it turned out that what I said couldn’t be understand by the French and misunderstand the meaning. It was funny.
Louvre, Palace of Versailles, Musée d'Orsay, they are well- known museums in Paris. I looked forward to paying there a visit all the time when I was in Paris. There are some famous paintings, such as The Mona Lisa, The Gleaners that I only had ever seen in the books formerly. In addition, each parts of Paris’s scenery, buildings is beautiful as though I was in an amazing dream.
One of my aunt’s friends invited us to visit her in Normandy. Hence, I had an opportunity to live in the French’s home. She was very kind and hospitable. She made French bread by herself and prepared many kinds of cheeses for us to taste. It was a novel and special experience for me in France.
Until now, I still keep the details of journey in mind and I will remember it for good. It is worth traveling to France this time. I am of the opinion that it is the most unforgettable event in my life.
Wow, a journey to France! I'm so envious! Hope I can visit her some day soon. =)
回覆刪除A. About your writing, you didn't use a lot of time order words, which is fine because the whole journey is still easy to follow for me.
B. I like the when-clause in the following sentence. It perfectly modifies your main clause: "I looked forward to paying there a visit all the time when I was in Paris". Good job.
C. It is a pity, though, that you didn't use any time order words/phrases to tell your readers 第三段是在什麼時候進行的.
除了上面的comment, 請修改以下的文法:
1. The journey that I will never forget is last summer vacation.
==>last summer's vacation
時間可以用所有格的形式
2. At first, seeing that I couldn’t understand French, I had no way to communicate with people.
文法用得好
3. Sometimes I pronounced them incorrectly, it turned out that what I said couldn’t be understand by the French and misunderstand the meaning.
這兩句需要連接詞
4.Louvre, Palace of Versailles, Musée d'Orsay, they are well- known museums in Paris.
==>你這樣寫有雙主詞的問題，改成: Louvre, Palace of Versailles, and Musee d'Orsay are well-known museums in Paris.
5. I looked forward to paying there a visit all the time when I was in Paris.
寫得好
6. There are some famous paintings, such as The Mona Lisa, The Gleaners that I only had ever seen in the books formerly.
==>這裏的書不應該the books, 這樣是指定喔
==>過去完成式用得好
7. In addition, each parts of Paris’s scenery, buildings is beautiful as though I was in an amazing dream.
==>each parts還是 each part?
8. One of my aunt’s friends invited us to visit her in Normandy.
這事是何時發生的?
9.
Hence, I had an opportunity to live in the French’s home. She was very kind and hospitable. She made French bread by herself and prepared many kinds of cheeses for us to taste. It was a novel and special experience for me in France. 過去式用得好